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About a Fucked Foot page 12 Ernest Samuel Llime

About a Fucked Foot
ESL - June 2009, Woodhaven

I caught the tail end of a conversation and it went like this: " ..... so, your foot got fucked baby."

Well "foot (fut)" means "fuck" in Romanian, "was" in French" and we know the English meaning. So, me and my international homonym lexiconed mind (which is a nice way of saying that where in my youth I used to a polyglot, I can now safely proclaim that my mind is filled with a language soup of many ingredients,) immediately came up with 5 different scenarios that could work as a prelude to this one little snippet, as well as fitting in perfectly with my Lexicon.

They can be summarized thus:

  1. This person's foot was humped by a very small dog.
  2. He/she indulged in some very perverted sexual practices (disgusting, but hard to take your eyes off of.)
  3. A few years ago, in New Jersey this guy actually had the wrong leg (and foot) amputated. I sincerely hope this was not the case.
  4. It could just be a severe case of athlete's foot.
  5. Very small shoes, squeezing the be-Jesus out of that foot.

The rest of the conversation could have gone on like this:

1. Yeah man, can you believe that stupid Chihuahua. if the owner wasn't that blonde, stacked and obviously bothered, I would have kicked the little shit all the way into next week. Unfortunately, all I could do was drool because her mother had come home unexpectedly. So all we did was drink tea and have a couple of cookies, but we have another date on Thursday and after that, hopefully, my place - wish me luck.

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